


Wherefore Art Thou Romeo?

by hmmwatt



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Attempt at Humor, Denial of Feelings, Established Ryland Adams/Shane Dawson, First Love, M/M, References to Shakespeare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-01 22:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17875916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hmmwatt/pseuds/hmmwatt
Summary: ANDREW: (Appalled, and increasingly confused as he speaks.) But Garrett can’t do Juliet, because, because—how would I confirm my straight masculinity to this world if I fall for Garrett? Uh, I mean, I meant Juliet. And also Romeo’s masculinity. Okay, never mind, I can’t do this.MORGAN: Andrew, literally nobody considers you straight at this point.A high-school comedy heavily influenced by Shakespeare, (perhaps) complete with a play within a play.





	1. Act 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know near nothing about formatting scripts, so please forgive me.

_A beat-down high school corridor—the kind that would bring back instant nostalgia for those born in the late 80s and after, complete with lockers lining the walls and odd greenish paint. It is late afternoon, judging from the sunlight streaming through the window. Faint, heated conversation is heard, louder and louder until finally_ ANDREW SIWICKI _and_ MORGAN ADAMS _enter stage from the left_.

 

MORGAN: ( _Heatedly, finishing off what must have been quite a rant._ ) —and we can't just, you know, mow through a play without a protagonist!

ANDREW: ( _Sighs, shrugs. It's obvious that she has been going off about this topic all day_.) I know, I know. But you knew that this was going to be controversial. I mean, I admire you for completely re-writing Shakespeare—but hey, you were stepping into landmines the moment it was about homosexuality.

MORGAN: And that is exactly why I need— _we_ need—this play!

( _She gestures towards the direction they came from. It is suggested that that's where the drama club is located_.)

As the very first freshman _and_ woman director of the drama club, I need to leave my mark. Show them what they've never seen before. Broaden their goddamned perspective! 

ANDREW: Yeah, but... how'll you find your Juliet? All those who auditioned were— ( _He chooses his words carefully_.) not fit for it.

MORGAN: They were homophobic. ( _She rolls her eyes_.) Yeah, it sucks, but we'll have to keep trying.

RYLAND: (O.S.) Why worry about Juliet when you already have the perfect Tybalt?

( _With that line, and a self-made flourish to boot,_ RYLAND ADAMS _enters from the right. He's been waiting for these two_.)

RYLAND: You know, you could just rewrite the whole thing so it can focus on Tybalt and how misunderstood he is. I always thought I had too little time onstage.

ANDREW: I mean, that could be a solution.

MORGAN: No thanks, I only chose you for Tybalt because I know firsthand how annoying you can be as a brother.

(RYLAND _tries to interject, but she continues_.)

MORGAN: And _you_ only agreed to this because you'd be able to kiss Shane. Onstage. In front of everyone.

RYLAND: Yeah, obviously, because somebody took away my dearest love— (MORGAN _rolls her eyes again_. ANDREW _giggles_.) —by casting him as Paris and holding him hostage in practice. Also, it'll be a kiss that goes down in the history of corny high school plays.

MORGAN: It's not corny!

ANDREW: ( _Whispers_.) It is kinda corny.

MORGAN: ( _Shakes her head, frustrated_.) Shakespeare does that all the time! I mean, look at _As You Like It_. He could have left Celia on her own but no-o-o, she needs to be paired up in hetero relationship through a sudden redemption arc. All's well that ends well, and "well" means you're all coupled and married! And I do it _one_ time— with two _gay_ couples—and it's corny? The world isn't fair.

(ANDREW _chuckles and puts a hand on her shoulder, a calming gesture_. RYLAND _just grins_.)

ANDREW: Alright, alright. I'm perfectly happy with the play, believe me. But seriously, how will we find our Juliet?

MORGAN: I don't know... ( _She trails off, thinking_.) I did ask you before, but are you sure there's nobody on your mind? I mean, you are our Romeo after all. It'd be best if it was someone who had good chemistry with you.

ANDREW: ( _He's obviously been asked this question before. He is also obviously not comfortable answering it_.) I... no. Not really. As I said, I'm doing this out of friendship, for the good cause. And you know I'm...

( _The word " straight" is unsaid yet hanging in the air. Literally. The word, written in cardboard, drops down somewhere on the left-hand stage above_ ANDREW. MORGAN _and_ RYLAND _exchange a look_.)

MORGAN: If you say so. I mean, I would ask Garrett—

(ANDREW _visibly flinches. The cardboard " straight" goes straight back up and disappears_.)

MORGAN: —because honestly, he is perfect for the role. If only he weren't so busy with that arts and crafts thing already.

RYLAND: The miniature exhibition? Yeah, he's way too invested in it to give up now.

MORGAN: I'm honestly surprised the crafting club is even alive. Considering Garrett's the only active member.

RYLAND: He's super good at it, though. I mean, the way he's planning out the entire thing—have you seen the miniature kitchen he was working on?

MORGAN: I did hear that the fridge was super detailed—

(ANDREW _, who's been listening quietly—and rather intently—shakes himself all of a sudden. He lurches forward,  awkwardly walking away from them_.)

ANDREW: Anyway, I gotta get home. So tell me when you've found Juliet, or if there's any change in the script. Okay?

MORGAN: ( _A bit taken aback by the sudden departure, but waves anyway_.) Yeah, I will. Bye, Andrew.

RYLAND: See ya.

( _Walking rather quickly,_ ANDREW _exits stage to the right. Beat_.)

 

MORGAN: ( _Whispers in a hushed voice, although there is no need for it_.) When do you think he'll realize?

RYLAND: ( _Laughs out loud despite himself_.) It has to be soon. It's just so obvious.

MORGAN: Twenty bucks on the end of this semester?

RYLAND: Twenty bucks on the day of your play.

MORGAN: Fine. Also, ten bucks that Garrett asks him out first.

RYLAND: Hey! I was gonna bet on Garrett.

MORGAN: ( _Gleefully_ ) Too bad, I was first.

( _Still bickering, they also exit the stage. Blackout_.)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's something short and stupid. hey i'd like to see this through till the end but... unsure when! hopefully you enjoyed this little piece at least.


	2. Act 2

_The next day, earlier in the afternoon, same corridor from Act 1. Classes just finished, judging from all the background noise that fades out as the lights come on._ ANDREW _enters first, opening one of the lockers and packing his things. A cheery voice calls from off stage, and_ GARRETT WATTS _enters. He's carrying a cardboard box in his arms, most likely filled with all kinds of different miniatures and craft materials_.

 

GARRETT: Andrew! Hey!

ANDREW: ( _Pleasantly surprised. Heavy on the pleasant side_.) Oh. Hey, Garrett. Where're you headed to?

GARRETT: Once again to my tiny houses! ( _Lets out a bark of laughter, then giggles a bit more self-consciously_.) They're coming together nicely. You can always come and have a look, you know.

ANDREW: ( _With a soft look in his eyes_.) Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that— ( _then he remembers, and straightens up a bit_.) I have practice today, though.

GARRETT: When _don't_ you have practice? Man, Morgan's really strict on you guys, isn't she?

ANDREW: Ah, well—she's nervous about the whole thing, I suppose. Considering the direction it's taking.

GARRETT: Mmm. That's true. ( _Smiles a bit apologetically_.) As an openly gay person since middle school, I really appreciate it. So how's the play going?

ANDREW: ( _Watches_ GARRETT _'s face carefully, then avoids eye contact_.) Uh. We're still missing our Juliet.

GARRETT: ( _Less surprised than worried_.) Really? _Still_? I thought somebody would've gotten over it by now. Morgan's not asking for a full drag—it's just a dress, what's the problem?

ANDREW: I guess— ( _He chooses his words_.) people are not comfortable with the idea.

GARRETT: Even when it's just a play? That's... kinda dumb. Like, most queer people live the straight life until they realize otherwise. Even straight people should be able to live the gay life, just for a night.

ANDREW: ( _With a slight nod_.) I know. I mean, I'm...

( _There's a pause when they make eye contact._ ANDREW _loses whatever word he was trying to finish the sentence with_.)

GARRETT: Oh, Romeo, Romeo... wherefore art thou Romeo, isn't it?

(GARRETT _jokes, hurriedly looking away._ ANDREW _lets his gaze remain a moment longer, then looks down into his backpack, suddenly keen on its contents_.)

I'd hate to see that line cut, just because you guys don't have a Juliet. That part is one of my favorite. It's so beautiful, y'know?

( _He briefly clears his throat and, setting his box down on the floor, faces_ ANDREW _._ ANDREW _grasps his backpack tighter to his chest_.)

What’s in a name? That which we call a rose  
By any other name would smell as sweet;  
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,  
Retain that dear perfection which he owes  
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,  
And for that name, which is no part of thee,  
Take all myself.

( _As_ GARRETT _recites the line from memory, the light dims, leaving the two in a semi-spotlight._ GARRETT' _s tone becomes deeper and more impassioned as he speaks, and_ ANDREW _watches, fascinated. With "Take all myself",_ GARRETT _holds out a hand. It seems to take_ ANDREW _everything he's made of to_ not _take that hand right then and there. Beat_.)

(ANDREW _is the first to look away. The moment is broken, the lights return to normal._ GARRETT _lowers his arm_.)

ANDREW: Morgan did say— ( _He pauses, unsure of his footing_.) Well, she did seem to want you for the role. As Juliet.

GARRETT: Yeah, she offered. And believe me, I'd join—if only I didn't have the miniature exhibition to finish.

ANDREW: ( _He nods, curtly, trying to hide the disappointment_.) It can't be helped. Morgan will figure something out.

GARRETT: She already has the best protagonist. ( _Smiles fondly_.) You'll do fine even without a Juliet.

ANDREW: I would like someone, though.

( _Beat_.)

ANDREW: To share—uh. To share the journey that is my first gay play.

GARRETT: ( _Laughs a little at that, but seems nervous_.) Yeah. Yeah, it'd be better if there were someone, huh.

ANDREW: ( _Now flustered and even more unsure of himself_.) I—I guess I should go. Can't be late for the rehearsal.

GARRETT: ( _Watches him carefully but nods without a word_.) Alright. See you later, Andrew.

ANDREW: ( _Closing up his locker and already backing away_.) See ya, Garrett. I'll go see your miniatures soon, okay?

(GARRETT _just smiles and waves while_ ANDREW _exits. He's about to pick up his cardboard box again and leave, when the familiar ping of iPhone text rings. He pulls out his phone from his back pocket. Blackout_.)

 


End file.
